The Allergy Adventure Continues (with Baby # 2)

I can remember back to the time that I was a new stay-at-home mom, when playgroups, middle-of-the night feedings, teething, blow-outs and all the rest of it were still new to me. At playgroup one day, a lady from my church turned down a snack for her baby because he was allergic. She expanded on this and listed the many things he was allergic to. "Wow! That sounds HARD" I thought. How awful to have to choose between either cutting those foods out of your whole family's diet or making something special for that one child for every meal! And of course, that trial paled in comparison to the worry that her child could have an allergic reaction which could vary from mild to severe. . .or even life threatening. I couldn't help but hope that I would never find myself in her shoes. Then a funny thing happened--funny mostly because of the simple circumstance which gave way to it--I felt a powerful and clear prompting from the Spirit. It was a thought that didn't come from me. It was like a voice of a parent or teacher giving me instruction contrary to what I was then thinking.  The voice was accompanied by a warm feeling of comfort that swept over my body. The thought was "it's OK. dealing with a child's allergies is doable. If you were called to pass through this trial, you could do it and so can this Mother. There are things so much harder than allergies and still so much to be grateful for." This experience took me aback a little. Allergies? Why would I have such a profound experience about allergies?! I don't have food allergies. . .neither does my husband. In such a case children rarely get food allergies. Surely my children won't. But so strong were the feelings that I had, that I kept it in my back pocket, just in case.

This is a picture of Leila soon after finding out that taking her off gluten and
dairy made her much happier.

This is us at the 4th of July party. I'd like to say that Heidi's cheeks
were red from watermelon juice, but it's just the eczema. 

Fast forward months later and I found out my Leila's moody temperament was not just happenstance, but likely due to allergies (see my "Free From Gluten Free" post). That was trying at first--trying to figure out what I could make for her that didn't contain two whole food groups. At times I would be panicked because I would realize there was literally nothing in the house I could feed my child, but I soon adjusted.

When Heidi was born, she was a sweet little soul from the very beginning. However, there were times when she would seem a little colicky in the first month. Due to my experience with Leila, I decided to cut out milk to see if that would make a difference. Sure enough, not only did the colic stop, but Heidi almost never spit up! At six months of age, I thought perhaps her stomach had matured enough that I could resume drinking milk. It seemed successful--she wasn't crying uncontrollably and she kept her food down. Great! But as time went on, the eczema that she'd always had to some degree, seemed to have gotten worse. Could it be due to my drinking milk again? As a few months passed, I couldn't help but think that my drinking milk was causing her cheeks to get so red, her skin to be flaky, itchy, and even scabby sometimes. So I got a referral to the allergist.

The Doctor walked in to the old-fashioned clinic room, which made me feel like I had time warped back to the 70's. A kind, confident Doctor walked in, and before he sat down,  he took one look at Heidi and touted "yep, looks like another case of eczema". He sounded almost bored. He portrayed that he was a little surprised to have me come in for such a common skin condition, and wondered if my pediatrician had also told me it was just eczema. "Yes. But I think it might also be related to a food allergy" I said. He nodded his head thoughtfully, then said "well, in 2/3 cases the eczema is just a skin condition--one she'll outgrow, which is likely what we are going to find today. . .in 1/3 cases, it's related to a food allergy. . . But it's worth checking, so that's what we'll do!"

We were brought to another room where I removed Heidi's little dress and a nurse poked her in the back with the six main allergens--soybean, corn, eggs, milk, peanut, and wheat. She was a good sport. The sweet soul didn't cry, just looked a little confused. Then we had to wait for fifteen minutes for the reactions to be pronounced. My busy little monkey didn't want to stay put, so she crawled around the floors and cruised around the furniture, even meandering into the halls. All the while I had to make sure she didn't rub her back on anything, so that the the allergens would stay where they were--this proved to be harder than I thought. When the nurse came back she furrowed her brow and said "this isn't what we were wanting to see!" She measured each of the bright red welts on her back. Then I was brought back to another room to visit with the Doctor. He echoed the nurse by saying "these were not the results we were hoping for".

So here's the verdict: She has a full-blown allergy to milk and eggs, a sensitivity to soy, and a life-threatening allergy to peanuts! I could hardly believe it! Of course the most startling was the peanut allergy. "Will she outgrow it?" I immediately wondered and hoped. I learned that between 70-80% of children with milk, egg, and soy allergies outgrow them by the time they are 5 or 6, but only about 20% of children with peanut allergies EVER outgrow them. Heidi's peanut allergy is so severe that if she gets even a taste of it, she could go into anaphylactic shock--which means that her throat could swell up, cutting off her air flow, and she could suffocate.

Speaking of shock. . .I was shocked! My angelic little baby, the one that not only lights up a room, but an entire grocery store as she sits in the cart, has a known Kryptonite? "Absolute peanut avoidance" was one of the notes taken by the doctor. We were to consider avoiding foods even processed in a facility that contain nuts, but this was left to our discretion. Ugh! It made me want to ban peanuts! As much as I love peanut butter truffle brownies, Reeses Pieces, and Moose Tracks ice cream, I would much rather live in a peanut-free world, to avoid the risk of losing my sweet child. To think--my baby's kryptonite will be in her friend's PB & J sandwich at lunchtime at school, it will be in her bag of halloween candy, it is hidden so sneakily into baked goods at church potlucks--I know! I've been the one to bake them! 

This peanut allergy means I will have to be careful, which is an adjective that simply doesn't describe me. (ex. in about six months I shattered the screen on my cell phone twice and lost another phone). But now I've got to kick it into high gear--I'll have no peanut butter or peanuts in my house. Not only that, but I need to warn all caregivers of this allergy and train them on how to use an Epipen! Yep. She's got one of those now! If I have anything to do with it, there will be signs on the doors of the nursery at church and school, indicating that this is a peanut-free zone.

Yes. I could be evolving into that mom 

My new staples

It's hard to imagine that peanut butter is a common household staple across the country and all my little 9-month-old, 18 pound baby has to do is be a human vacuum (which is one of her favorite pass-times around the kitchen table) and pick up a crumb of peanut butter cookie and . . .but wait. What about that peace I felt 3 years ago; the one that I can recall so well, even today?

It reminds me of a scripture:

D&C 6:23

 Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?

So as I get upset about this trial, I need to look back upon that quiet moment in the park and that peace I felt in my heart. Heavenly Father gave me peace and instruction before I even knew that allergies would ever be a trial in my family. And I DO know that this isn't the hardest thing I could go through. I feel for the parents who have to struggle daily with their child's severe physical and/or mental handicaps. I can't fathom what they're going through. But what is significant to me is that Heavenly Father knew that having children with allergies would be a trial for me. And what matters to me, matters to him. I don't know how things are going to pan out with our darling girl. I don't know if we'll be making multiple trips to the emergency room, and if administering an epipen will become as second nature as popping Tylenol, but I do know that  Heavenly Father loves us and will take care of us :)

Proverbs 3:5-6 

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.