12 Days of Christmas, Post #3: My Ten Year Temple Anniversary

I have often thought how grateful I am for the Savior. And of all the reasons I have to be grateful for him, what makes me feel like I am about to burst with gratitude is the fact that he gave me my family. Not only here and now, but the possibility that I can have them with me forever. Both my family of origin and my family of procreation mean the world to me. So when it comes down to it, Christ has really given me the world!

Ten years ago today I went through the temple (Cardston, Alberta) for the first time to receive my endowment (which means "gift"). It truly has been a gift to make promises with my Heavenly Father, and receive blessings both in and out of the temple. I feel peace and receive answers to prayer when I'm there. And I feel that, because I do temple work, the Lord blesses me in all aspects of my life, even when I am not inside those sacred walls.

I Love to See the Temple - Cardston Alberta Temple
Pictures of the Cardston Alberta Temple with a Children's Choir singing I Love to See the Temple.
Posted by LDS Temples on Monday, February 17, 2014

I love this particular video, not only because it shows beautiful pictures of the Cardston temple, but also because it plays a song that Leila and I love to sing together!

A little less than half a dozen years after going through the temple for the first time, I was able to walk in the doors of the Bountiful Utah temple with my handsome fiancee and walk out with him as my amazing husband and eternal companion! The temple is a special place! The words that were spoken during that ceremony didn't end with "'til death do you part". Rather, we were married "for time and all eternity" as long as we live righteously. I am grateful to have been married in the house of the Lord by priesthood authority so that I have the chance to keep that wonderful guy! I miss him enough when he's gone a long day at work! I don't want anything, including death, to separate us. I'm grateful for my Savior, the temple, and my husband. Those 3 things really lay the foundation for every meaningful happy thought I have!

Remembering Elder Scott (an Apostle)

I heard yesterday that Elder Richard G. Scott of the quorum of the twelve apostles passed away. He was one of my favorite apostles, partly because I was able to meet him and spend about an hour of my life with him. That small window of time has been impressed upon my mind for the past seven years as a special moment in my life. Here is my journal entry from that day (edited mostly to enhance flow):

June 25, 2008

I worked the mission president's seminar at work (The Missionary Training Center Food Services). Many of the twelve apostles were there to teach the mission Presidents. I got there at lunchtime and I was told to go eat, rather than to start work. I grabbed a plate of food and was pointed to a room where I should sit. There were 13 of my co-workers and Richard G. Scott! There was only one empty seat and it was right next to him! . . .So I sat right next to him! He looks different in person. I didn't even recognize him at first! . . .I guess I'm not used to seeing any of the twelve apostles that close. Surprisingly, the thing that helped me to recognize him was his voice: so calm and mild and his words seemed so well thought out. I love his voice! And he was so personable! He joked, talked about his career as a nuclear engineer, asked us if and when we served missions, and what our majors were. Then, although he was our guest, he took our dishes back to the dish room. When he was coming back to the room, I was on my way out. We crossed paths and I was grinning from ear to ear as though I was in the presence of a celebrity ('cause I was! Church celebrities are the best kind!) He said "now that's a lovely smile!" He complimented me! (which was awfully nice, because I honestly was just grinning like an idiot) Then he shook my hand. He said something like "I enjoyed talking with you Courtney!" He remembered my name! Then he said "that was fun, wasn't it?" I agreed. The apostles must meet so many people! How easy it would be to treat and remember them as a group rather than as individuals, but he remembered my name. . .Heavenly Father surely knows me be name.

Something I didn't mention in my journal entry was the way he looked at me. I still remember that so well! He looked at me so intently and with so much love! He does a good job of that at general conference, speaking into the camera as he imagines all of his 'brothers and sisters' who he is speaking to. Surprisingly, this used to be something he struggled with! He mentioned in one of his talks that his wife once said the following to him:

“Rich, when you talk to people, look in their eyes. You look at the ceiling and the walls and the floor, but you never look in their eyes.” That suggestion profoundly changed my life. My precious companion loved me enough to help me by telling me what I needed to know. 

I think that is a neat little example of how someone's weakness became their strength! (Ether 12:27). I am going to miss that man! When I found out he passed away, I honestly felt like I lost someone I loved. But I am so glad that he gets to be with his dear wife again! Theirs is a beautiful love story that kept going long after her death more than 20 years ago. He is well known for his adoration for his wife, Jeanene. He spoke about her, it seemed, as often as he could. Here is one of the things he said at a BYU devotional that I attended, back in 2010: Please pardon me for speaking of my precious wife, Jeanene. But we are an eternal family. Although she is on the other side of the veil, that love and appreciation for each other continues to grow and mature. I am confident that when, in our future, I see her again beyond the veil, we will recognize that we are more deeply in love. We will appreciate each other even more, having spent this time separated by the veil. We have grown closer together through the kindness of the Lord (To Have Peace and Happiness, September 12, 2010).

So many of the things Elder Scott said have touched me, I wanted to share just a few of his quotes. I have emboldened the main theme of each of the quotes below:


Often we have difficulty mastering lessons the Lord wants us to learn when things are going too well in our lives. When there is suffering or pain, we ask ourselves a lot of questions. Some of them ought to be: What does the Lord want me to learn from this experience? What do I need to do? What do I need to change? Whom do I need to serve? Or what characteristic must I improve? Pondering and prayer will help us understand what we are to learn from the challenges we are asked to overcome. -Obtaining Help from the Lord October 1991

let us encourage every woman who questions her value to turn to her Heavenly Father and His glorified Son for a supernal confirmation of her immense individual worth. I testify that as each woman seeks it in faith and obedience, the Savior will continually prompt her through the Holy Ghost. That guidance will lead her to fulfillment, peace, and a consuming joy through magnifying her divinely appointed, sacred womanhood. I know the Savior will do that. -The Sanctity of Womanhood, April 2000 

Pray even when you have no desire to pray. Sometimes, like a child, you may misbehave and feel you cannot approach your Father with a problem. That is when you most need to pray. Never feel you are too unworthy to pray. -Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer, April 2007 

Select something like music, dance, sculpture, or poetry.Being creative will help you enjoy life. It engenders a spirit of gratitude. It develops latent talent, sharpens your capacity to reason, to act, and to find purpose in life. It dispels loneliness and heartache. It gives a renewal, a spark of enthusiasm, and zest for life. -Finding Joy in Life, April 2006 

Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a scripture is to forge a new friendship. It is like discovering a new individual who can help in time of need, give inspiration and comfort, and be a source of motivation for needed change. . . .Scriptures can calm an agitated soul, giving peace, hope, and a restoration of confidence in one’s ability to overcome the challenges of life. They have potent power to heal emotional challenges when there is faith in the Savior. They can accelerate physical healing. -The power of scripture, October 2011

Don’t yield to Satan’s lie that you don’t have time to study the scriptures. Choose to take time to study them. Feasting on the word of God each day is more important than sleep, school, work, television shows, video games, or social media. You may need to reorganize your priorities to provide time for the study of the word of God. If so, do it! -Make the exercise of faith your first priority, October 2014 


I know that Richard G. Scott was called of God as one of his apostles in these days. I am so grateful for a living prophet and righteous leaders who help direct this church according to the will of a loving Father in Heaven--A God who does not leave us alone in this world, but continues to provide direction. I'm excited to hear the words of the prophet and apostles in General Conference in a couple of weeks! Elder Scott will be missed, along with Elder L. Tom Perry and Boyd K. Packer who also passed away this year. But they have left beautiful legacies of faith, love, and goodness, which I hope to emulate in some small way.

Four Years, A Family of Four, and Our Four Goals

A couple days ago was our anniversary! Hooray! 

And as I mentioned in my last post, it's been amazing ( and surprisingly so)!! I'm living the dream being married to a man this good! So sometimes I sit back and think. . .what has made our marriage this good? 

The top 3 reasons why I think our marriage works so well:

1) Having the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives and striving to live by its principles.

2) Key personality traits and communication patterns that my husband brought into our marriage and is teaching me by his example.

3) Four goals we set on our honeymoon that bring us closer to each other and to the Lord.

Some other time I would like to expand on the first two, but for right now I'm going to delve into the four goals we've been striving for over the past four years.

No, this isn't a hidden pregnancy announcement. This is us when
I was pregnant with Heidi :)

On our honeymoon, we went out for dinner one night. My brand new husband had brought along his notebook and promptly pulled it out after we were seated. With his typical boyish glow in his eye he said "I think we should set some goals together!" I thought he was cute (and that it was a good idea), so we did. 

We talked about how our relationship was important to us and that we wanted to keep it that way. We also wanted to qualify for Heavenly Father's blessings. So the foundation was laid and the goals fell into place. They are simple, but "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass" (Alma 37:6).

1. Go on weekly dates. My husband brought this up and I thought it was a great idea, but I suggested that we define a date. I said " I can just see me in a few years, a couple of kids later. We're sitting in front of the TV, maybe on the same couch, watching a movie for our date and I'm. . .folding mountains of laundry" (why not double-task, right?). 

So to prevent that, I suggested the rule that our date has to be out of the house. Also, if we go on a double date, that doesn't count as our date, because we wouldn't really be dating each other, we would be dating (strengthening our relationship with) the other couple. So double dates are OK. . . but we also need a date for just us that week. Another rule is that it's not much of a date when the kids are with us, so most of our dates have to be without the kids (and we probably only bring them with us once every two or three months, so I feel alright about that.) We've had dates every week of our marriage so far; and I tell ya what, when life gets hard with the kids, I look forward to those dates like Christmas!

A selfie from a date (on our anniversary!)

"Many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy. These people will do well to reevaluate, to renew their courting, to express their affection, to acknowledge kindness, and to increase their consideration so their marriage again can become beautiful, sweet, and growing. . . .[R]eal, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive." -Spencer W. Kimball

2.  Attend the temple three times per month. My husband and I aimed for a temple wedding, but it wasn't just because we wanted our wedding pictures outside of a beautiful building--we wanted our family to be together forever! To have such a blessing though, it takes more than just exchanging wedding vows, it's a life-long process of keeping our temple covenants. By attending the temple often, we can remember the covenants we made there. 

We decided to set a goal to each go to the temple three times per month. I remember being a young teenager and sitting with my family on the pew at church. A high councilman was speaking that Sunday and for some reason, what he said has never left me. He told the congregation that too many of us aren't going to the temple often enough because couples are waiting until it's convenient to go as a couple. . .and that time never comes (or it rarely comes). As nice as it is to go as a couple, the priority is to remember (and in effect, renew) those precious covenants and to do work for our dead. With that in mind, there are many months that my husband and I don't get to go together as a couple, instead we go six separate times. The blessings are still evident!

Going this often has been tricky at times, especially on months where we've had a baby, but we've only fallen short one month!

"Frequent participation in temple service and regular family scripture study nourish a marriage and strengthen faith within a family."
-Russell M Nelson

3. Read a chapter of The Book of Mormon together every day. When we married, the man who performed the ceremony (the sealer) talked about the sacredness of temple marriage and gave us some marriage advice. One of the things he said was that reading a chapter of The Book of Mormon together every day would strengthen our marriage. We have done that and have recently finished our sixth time through! Our 3-year-old has joined with us now and will repeat phrases after we read them until she finishes a verse or two. This can be a little wild with a toddler and a baby and it's not always super spiritual, but I feel like the Lord is pleased with our efforts. We have missed maybe 3 or 4 times simply from forgetting--oops!

“I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and hapBenson. Ezra T. Benson

Our Family of Four

4. Pray as a couple together every night. This is another item that our sealer recommended to us in the temple. This helps to bring the Spirit and unites us as a couple. I love hearing my husband thank Heavenly Father for me--it gives me warm fuzzies :) I also love praying for specific things for him--to express my appreciation or ask for special blessings for him.

"I know of no single activity that has more potential for unifying our families and bringing more love and divine direction into our homes than consistent, fervent family prayer." -John H Groberg

These are four goals that have blessed our family. What goals have you set in your relationships?

The Allergy Adventure Continues (with Baby # 2)

I can remember back to the time that I was a new stay-at-home mom, when playgroups, middle-of-the night feedings, teething, blow-outs and all the rest of it were still new to me. At playgroup one day, a lady from my church turned down a snack for her baby because he was allergic. She expanded on this and listed the many things he was allergic to. "Wow! That sounds HARD" I thought. How awful to have to choose between either cutting those foods out of your whole family's diet or making something special for that one child for every meal! And of course, that trial paled in comparison to the worry that her child could have an allergic reaction which could vary from mild to severe. . .or even life threatening. I couldn't help but hope that I would never find myself in her shoes. Then a funny thing happened--funny mostly because of the simple circumstance which gave way to it--I felt a powerful and clear prompting from the Spirit. It was a thought that didn't come from me. It was like a voice of a parent or teacher giving me instruction contrary to what I was then thinking.  The voice was accompanied by a warm feeling of comfort that swept over my body. The thought was "it's OK. dealing with a child's allergies is doable. If you were called to pass through this trial, you could do it and so can this Mother. There are things so much harder than allergies and still so much to be grateful for." This experience took me aback a little. Allergies? Why would I have such a profound experience about allergies?! I don't have food allergies. . .neither does my husband. In such a case children rarely get food allergies. Surely my children won't. But so strong were the feelings that I had, that I kept it in my back pocket, just in case.

This is a picture of Leila soon after finding out that taking her off gluten and
dairy made her much happier.

This is us at the 4th of July party. I'd like to say that Heidi's cheeks
were red from watermelon juice, but it's just the eczema. 

Fast forward months later and I found out my Leila's moody temperament was not just happenstance, but likely due to allergies (see my "Free From Gluten Free" post). That was trying at first--trying to figure out what I could make for her that didn't contain two whole food groups. At times I would be panicked because I would realize there was literally nothing in the house I could feed my child, but I soon adjusted.

When Heidi was born, she was a sweet little soul from the very beginning. However, there were times when she would seem a little colicky in the first month. Due to my experience with Leila, I decided to cut out milk to see if that would make a difference. Sure enough, not only did the colic stop, but Heidi almost never spit up! At six months of age, I thought perhaps her stomach had matured enough that I could resume drinking milk. It seemed successful--she wasn't crying uncontrollably and she kept her food down. Great! But as time went on, the eczema that she'd always had to some degree, seemed to have gotten worse. Could it be due to my drinking milk again? As a few months passed, I couldn't help but think that my drinking milk was causing her cheeks to get so red, her skin to be flaky, itchy, and even scabby sometimes. So I got a referral to the allergist.

The Doctor walked in to the old-fashioned clinic room, which made me feel like I had time warped back to the 70's. A kind, confident Doctor walked in, and before he sat down,  he took one look at Heidi and touted "yep, looks like another case of eczema". He sounded almost bored. He portrayed that he was a little surprised to have me come in for such a common skin condition, and wondered if my pediatrician had also told me it was just eczema. "Yes. But I think it might also be related to a food allergy" I said. He nodded his head thoughtfully, then said "well, in 2/3 cases the eczema is just a skin condition--one she'll outgrow, which is likely what we are going to find today. . .in 1/3 cases, it's related to a food allergy. . . But it's worth checking, so that's what we'll do!"

We were brought to another room where I removed Heidi's little dress and a nurse poked her in the back with the six main allergens--soybean, corn, eggs, milk, peanut, and wheat. She was a good sport. The sweet soul didn't cry, just looked a little confused. Then we had to wait for fifteen minutes for the reactions to be pronounced. My busy little monkey didn't want to stay put, so she crawled around the floors and cruised around the furniture, even meandering into the halls. All the while I had to make sure she didn't rub her back on anything, so that the the allergens would stay where they were--this proved to be harder than I thought. When the nurse came back she furrowed her brow and said "this isn't what we were wanting to see!" She measured each of the bright red welts on her back. Then I was brought back to another room to visit with the Doctor. He echoed the nurse by saying "these were not the results we were hoping for".

So here's the verdict: She has a full-blown allergy to milk and eggs, a sensitivity to soy, and a life-threatening allergy to peanuts! I could hardly believe it! Of course the most startling was the peanut allergy. "Will she outgrow it?" I immediately wondered and hoped. I learned that between 70-80% of children with milk, egg, and soy allergies outgrow them by the time they are 5 or 6, but only about 20% of children with peanut allergies EVER outgrow them. Heidi's peanut allergy is so severe that if she gets even a taste of it, she could go into anaphylactic shock--which means that her throat could swell up, cutting off her air flow, and she could suffocate.

Speaking of shock. . .I was shocked! My angelic little baby, the one that not only lights up a room, but an entire grocery store as she sits in the cart, has a known Kryptonite? "Absolute peanut avoidance" was one of the notes taken by the doctor. We were to consider avoiding foods even processed in a facility that contain nuts, but this was left to our discretion. Ugh! It made me want to ban peanuts! As much as I love peanut butter truffle brownies, Reeses Pieces, and Moose Tracks ice cream, I would much rather live in a peanut-free world, to avoid the risk of losing my sweet child. To think--my baby's kryptonite will be in her friend's PB & J sandwich at lunchtime at school, it will be in her bag of halloween candy, it is hidden so sneakily into baked goods at church potlucks--I know! I've been the one to bake them! 

This peanut allergy means I will have to be careful, which is an adjective that simply doesn't describe me. (ex. in about six months I shattered the screen on my cell phone twice and lost another phone). But now I've got to kick it into high gear--I'll have no peanut butter or peanuts in my house. Not only that, but I need to warn all caregivers of this allergy and train them on how to use an Epipen! Yep. She's got one of those now! If I have anything to do with it, there will be signs on the doors of the nursery at church and school, indicating that this is a peanut-free zone.

Yes. I could be evolving into that mom 

My new staples

It's hard to imagine that peanut butter is a common household staple across the country and all my little 9-month-old, 18 pound baby has to do is be a human vacuum (which is one of her favorite pass-times around the kitchen table) and pick up a crumb of peanut butter cookie and . . .but wait. What about that peace I felt 3 years ago; the one that I can recall so well, even today?

It reminds me of a scripture:

D&C 6:23

 Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things. Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?

So as I get upset about this trial, I need to look back upon that quiet moment in the park and that peace I felt in my heart. Heavenly Father gave me peace and instruction before I even knew that allergies would ever be a trial in my family. And I DO know that this isn't the hardest thing I could go through. I feel for the parents who have to struggle daily with their child's severe physical and/or mental handicaps. I can't fathom what they're going through. But what is significant to me is that Heavenly Father knew that having children with allergies would be a trial for me. And what matters to me, matters to him. I don't know how things are going to pan out with our darling girl. I don't know if we'll be making multiple trips to the emergency room, and if administering an epipen will become as second nature as popping Tylenol, but I do know that  Heavenly Father loves us and will take care of us :)

Proverbs 3:5-6 

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Relating to Life in The Book of Mormon- The Story of The Broken Bow/ The "I Can't Do This" Syndrome.

The Book of Mormon is amazing! Robby and I are just weeks away from reading it together for the 6th time and I have read it personally a dozen or so times (if I were to guess) and, like the Bible, I don't tire of it, I learn new things every time! It’s something I find I can easily relate to--finding parallels to my own life, tendencies, and trials. Some of those of you who are reading this may be familiar with the story of the broken bow from the Book of Mormon, but for those who are not, the full story is here, but I’ll also give a synopsis:

Nephi was one of a party of people caravaning through the wilderness toward a promised land (think the Children of Israel in The Bible). This group of people hunted for their food. Nephi, who had the last working bow and arrow, broke his weapon. Now it seemed that the family was doomed to starvation. Nephi’s brothers were angry and everyone, including his father, the prophet, whined and complained. 

*I should point out here that I’m not judging them! When I get hungry and I don’t know when I’m going to be able to eat again, I get “hangry” (hungry/angry), so I know I would be right there with them.*

Nephi on the other hand, had a different approach. He decided to DO something about his situation. If there’s something I’ve learned from my two-year-old, it’s that whining doesn’t get you what you want :) Amazingly, the same thing goes for adults, but some of us (like me. . .and Laman, Lemuel etc.) are slow learners. So what he does is he makes his own bow and arrow, asks his Father (because he’s the prophet) to ask the Lord where he should go to find food. Everyone humbles themselves, Nephi’s ne’r-do-well brothers behave--that is until the next chapter when they whine and complain about having to help build a ship (See 1 Nephi 17: 17,18, 50, 51 and 1 Nephi 18: 1-3). Nephi’s Father Lehi directs him where to go to find food and Nephi comes home with dinner. 

OK. Now for the current-day application. 

Sometimes we are given trials that overwhelm us and responsibilities that seem beyond our ability to fulfill. We may want to murmur and complain like Laman and Lemuel and say “this is hard! I can’t do this!” . . .I tend to do this a lot, particularly about the difficulties of motherhood; but when I think like this, I just sink into a downward spiral of ingratitude, self-pity, and hard-heartedness. Instead, I can choose to trust the Lord (like Nephi) by calling upon him for strength to do the things that I feel are beyond my capacity. I can ask where I should go, or what I should do to make life better, or to simply find peace amidst the storms of toddlerhood. I can act! If I do, I will still have hard things in front of me (heavens knows there are harder things than having a child in her terrible twos, or even than not knowing how you’re going to get your next meal) but if we call upon the Lord for help and are willing to act, Nephi and I. . .and all of God’s children, can face trials with courage, increased capacity, and an assurance that the Lord won’t let us fail. See below for more.

Post-Script 

Here are some of my favorite "you can DO it!/be happy" scriptures. 

Click on the reference to go to the actual scripture:

John 16:33 

Synopsis: We can be happy in tribulation because Christ, through the Atonement has overcome all tribulation. The Lord wants us to find peace in this truth. 

2 Nephi 10:23 (Robby’s favorite scripture)

Synopsis: You can do something about your life--that's something to be happy about! 

Helaman 14:30-31 

Synopsis: If you do good things, you'll get good things back, at least in the long run (kinda like a spiritual Karma). 

D&C 78:18 

Synopsis: You can't handle everything right now, but be happy, The Lord will help you! 

D&C 61:36 

Synopsis: We are still learning and growing like children, it's OK that we're not all the way there yet, God hasn't given up on you. He will help you!

Looking Back: Sleep Training

Our little baby turned 3 months on Christmas! We've been working on sleep training her. She's been doing pretty well! Before putting her to bed I give her an ample feeding, swaddle her as usual and smother her with kisses. On the first night, she woke up and cried for a good hour and a half or more before falling back to sleep. Robby knew this kind of thing would break my heart, so he turned on the white noise in our room so that I wouldn't hear her and would go back to sleep. He then went into the living room so he could hear her and keep tabs on her. That was a few weeks ago. Now, some nights she will just sleep through the night, others she wakes up and cries, then typically goes back to sleep after just a few minutes. This all brought back memories from a year and a half ago when we were trying to sleep train Leila at ten months. I thought it was worth sharing. Here is the story I wrote in my journal.

May, 2013

I wanted to write about an answer to prayer I received. Lately I've been worried about leaving Leila with my cousin while we go to Thailand because Leila hasn't been sleeping through the night. I've been struggling to know what to do, so I prayed about it and thought I would do a scripture study on it. I looked up scriptures that talk about crying because we just let her cry herself to sleep after we sing her songs. We came to this method after much deliberation. We would try to cuddle her, bounce her, sing to her, feed her more and nothing would put her to sleep. . .it only seemed to make her more angry. As she cried we would just turn on the fan so we didn't hear her. I've been feeling guilty about doing this and I've been wondering if this is the right thing to do. 

The Scriptures I read talked about the Lord listening to our cries and that the Lord hears our prayers. I thought "maybe this means I'm supposed to hear Leila's cries and not turn on the fan." I discussed this with Robby and told him that maybe we should answer her cries and go get her if she has been crying for awhile. But although this made sense to me in my head it didn't feel right in my heart. I didn't think that we should answer to her every whim. I want her to learn to be content and eventually more independent and I didn't think we could teach her these things if we ran to her every time she cried. But I was torn because I also didn't want to just let her cry and feel upset and become insecure, thinking we weren't going to be there for her. I kept praying that Heavenly Father would help us to know what to do.

That night an amazing thing happened. In my dream that night, the words to two scriptures came to my mind. One of them was Psalms chapter 30 verse 5 "weeping may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning". The other one was Isaiah 54:7 "for a small moment have I forsaken thee but with great mercies will i gather thee". From these Scriptures I felt that it was OK to let Leila cry herself back to sleep when she woke up in the middle of the night. Robby was very supportive of this idea. The first night we tried this she woke up in the middle of the night and cried for an hour. The second night she cried for over an hour--probably about an hour and a half. But after that she has slept through the night since. There have only been a few exceptions where she has only cried for five minutes or so before falling back to sleep. 

This experience has been such a blessing and I know that Heavenly Father has answered my prayers. President Uchtdorf has said "The Everlasting and Almighty God, The creator of this vast universe, will speak to those who approach Him with a sincere heart and real intent. He will Speak to them in dreams, visions, thoughts, and feelings. He will speak in a way that is unmistakable and that transcends human experience. He will give them divine direction and answers for their personal lives (Uchtdorf, October 2014, Ensign, Receiving a Testimony of Light and Truth). As we feast upon the words of Christ we embrace a tool that can make it easier for Heavenly Father to answer our prayers. As we become familiar with the scriptures, we are learning the language of God. Elder Scott has said "Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high. They can become the key to open the channel to communion with our Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ. . . .Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends, values, and truths that can be called upon anytime, anywhere. . ." 
This experience has opened my eyes to how he must feel about us as his children as well. When he lets us go through hard times, he's not abandoning us. He is listening to us and he is watching us with his omnipotent video baby camera :) If he doesn't let us learn how to cope with some trials we will be left in an infantile state permanently and we won't progress. His heart must ache when he sees us go through trials, just like mine ached for Leila. But just as I knew that she would be happier if she slept through the night and she would be learning important skills by being able to self-soothe, Heavenly Father has our best interests at heart and he doesn't just hope that we will become better. He knows what we're capable of. It didn't make sense to me before I became a mom--that Heavenly Father lets us suffer because he loves us. But now I'm starting to understand.

The more familiar you are with the scriptures, the closer you become to the mind and will of the Lord . . . You will find that by reading the scriptures the truths of eternity will rest on your minds.-Ezra T. Benson

This was taken just before we left for Thailand. I was so sad to be leaving her.
Instead of just letting her cry, I got into the crib with her and sang to her and
snuggled with her, and told her how much I loved her. It was a special moment.