Looking Back: Sleep Training

Our little baby turned 3 months on Christmas! We've been working on sleep training her. She's been doing pretty well! Before putting her to bed I give her an ample feeding, swaddle her as usual and smother her with kisses. On the first night, she woke up and cried for a good hour and a half or more before falling back to sleep. Robby knew this kind of thing would break my heart, so he turned on the white noise in our room so that I wouldn't hear her and would go back to sleep. He then went into the living room so he could hear her and keep tabs on her. That was a few weeks ago. Now, some nights she will just sleep through the night, others she wakes up and cries, then typically goes back to sleep after just a few minutes. This all brought back memories from a year and a half ago when we were trying to sleep train Leila at ten months. I thought it was worth sharing. Here is the story I wrote in my journal.

May, 2013

I wanted to write about an answer to prayer I received. Lately I've been worried about leaving Leila with my cousin while we go to Thailand because Leila hasn't been sleeping through the night. I've been struggling to know what to do, so I prayed about it and thought I would do a scripture study on it. I looked up scriptures that talk about crying because we just let her cry herself to sleep after we sing her songs. We came to this method after much deliberation. We would try to cuddle her, bounce her, sing to her, feed her more and nothing would put her to sleep. . .it only seemed to make her more angry. As she cried we would just turn on the fan so we didn't hear her. I've been feeling guilty about doing this and I've been wondering if this is the right thing to do. 

The Scriptures I read talked about the Lord listening to our cries and that the Lord hears our prayers. I thought "maybe this means I'm supposed to hear Leila's cries and not turn on the fan." I discussed this with Robby and told him that maybe we should answer her cries and go get her if she has been crying for awhile. But although this made sense to me in my head it didn't feel right in my heart. I didn't think that we should answer to her every whim. I want her to learn to be content and eventually more independent and I didn't think we could teach her these things if we ran to her every time she cried. But I was torn because I also didn't want to just let her cry and feel upset and become insecure, thinking we weren't going to be there for her. I kept praying that Heavenly Father would help us to know what to do.

That night an amazing thing happened. In my dream that night, the words to two scriptures came to my mind. One of them was Psalms chapter 30 verse 5 "weeping may endure for the night but joy cometh in the morning". The other one was Isaiah 54:7 "for a small moment have I forsaken thee but with great mercies will i gather thee". From these Scriptures I felt that it was OK to let Leila cry herself back to sleep when she woke up in the middle of the night. Robby was very supportive of this idea. The first night we tried this she woke up in the middle of the night and cried for an hour. The second night she cried for over an hour--probably about an hour and a half. But after that she has slept through the night since. There have only been a few exceptions where she has only cried for five minutes or so before falling back to sleep. 

This experience has been such a blessing and I know that Heavenly Father has answered my prayers. President Uchtdorf has said "The Everlasting and Almighty God, The creator of this vast universe, will speak to those who approach Him with a sincere heart and real intent. He will Speak to them in dreams, visions, thoughts, and feelings. He will speak in a way that is unmistakable and that transcends human experience. He will give them divine direction and answers for their personal lives (Uchtdorf, October 2014, Ensign, Receiving a Testimony of Light and Truth). As we feast upon the words of Christ we embrace a tool that can make it easier for Heavenly Father to answer our prayers. As we become familiar with the scriptures, we are learning the language of God. Elder Scott has said "Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high. They can become the key to open the channel to communion with our Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ. . . .Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends, values, and truths that can be called upon anytime, anywhere. . ." 
This experience has opened my eyes to how he must feel about us as his children as well. When he lets us go through hard times, he's not abandoning us. He is listening to us and he is watching us with his omnipotent video baby camera :) If he doesn't let us learn how to cope with some trials we will be left in an infantile state permanently and we won't progress. His heart must ache when he sees us go through trials, just like mine ached for Leila. But just as I knew that she would be happier if she slept through the night and she would be learning important skills by being able to self-soothe, Heavenly Father has our best interests at heart and he doesn't just hope that we will become better. He knows what we're capable of. It didn't make sense to me before I became a mom--that Heavenly Father lets us suffer because he loves us. But now I'm starting to understand.

The more familiar you are with the scriptures, the closer you become to the mind and will of the Lord . . . You will find that by reading the scriptures the truths of eternity will rest on your minds.-Ezra T. Benson

This was taken just before we left for Thailand. I was so sad to be leaving her.
Instead of just letting her cry, I got into the crib with her and sang to her and
snuggled with her, and told her how much I loved her. It was a special moment.